I'll Be Here
by trobokian queen
Summary: Set after Edward leaves in New Moon. Edward is broken inside after leaving Bella and reluctantly seeks comfort from an old friend. Not an Edward OC.


**This came to me while I was listening to Kelly Clarkson's If No One Will Listen. Hope everyone likes it!**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Twilight or Edward Cullen.**

I'll Be Here, and Edward fic

Edward Cullen stared at me as he stood in the doorway. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he looked to be a pillar of strength, just indifferently stopping by for a favor. The only movement to betray him was the way he ran his hand through his hair in a short agitated motion.

And the fact that Edward Cullen didn't just indifferently stop by for a favor.

"Marianne Walker," he addressed me stiffly, eyeing me up and down.

"The very same," I cracked a smile.

I was more than surprised. I hadn't expected to see _him_ again, not since he had found his human dream girl. Who else do you need in your life, once you've found your soulmate?

Of course, I probably should have known better. Edward never did things the easy way, so he probably got himself into some trouble. I considered the possibilities.

There was no way that he would subject young Bella Swan to an eternity of a cursed existence such as ours. He either accidently killed the poor girl or realized that his presence in her life was endangering her, that it was impossible for the Bella to exist in both his world and hers for long.

It wasn't too hard to read Edward. Not for me.

I knew him almost from the first. I knew the Edward Cullen that no one else knew, the dark and mysterious predator that once prowled about in the night feeding off of the blood of criminals. I once used to hunt with him.

We were both tortured and passionate. We were the hunter and the huntress, deadly, beautiful, and artistic.

We were gods, judiciously deciding who deserved to live and die.

And we understood each other.

But I wasn't just with him through his darkest moments. I saw him in his weakest, almost human periods.

"_You should have seen her face, Marianne," he tearlessly wept to me._

_I wrapped my arms around him, cradling his head to my chest. My fingers brushed his hair back soothingly, understandingly. "I bet her thoughts were worse," I commented._

"_She was so horrified, so disgusted. She thought I was a monster."_

"_We are monsters," I reminded him. _

"_I wasn't always this way. I was decent once, human. The worst crime I ever committed was bestowing my affections too freely."_

_I laughed out loud and forced Edward to look up at me. "Those were the days," I declared._

"_Doesn't it ever bother you?" he asked me seriously, as though I was the only one with an answer for his dilemma. "Is being damned so easy for you to accept?"_

_I took in a breath. "Of course it's hard, Edward. But this isn't about me right now. It's about _you_. We take turns being strong so we can hold each other together. If I decided to break down now, that wouldn't do either of us a bit of good."_

"What can I do for you, Edward?" I invited him into my little apartment casually. I flipped a few strands of long black hair behind my shoulder, as I studied him carefully.

He stepped in without ceremony, barely looking at me as he passed. We used to be the best of friends. He was so guarded now. It was like he didn't want me to see that weak side anymore, the side that was broken. It's like he was ashamed.

I didn't pay his imposing façade any attention though. It was a routine he always went through whenever he came to me. It wouldn't be too long before he cracked.

"You already know," he replied curtly.

He was right. I _knew_ things. Just by looking at a person, I could see their deepest pain, their most hidden memory, and their darkest secret. I suppose it was because I could easily see into people while I was human.

But I didn't look into Edward's soul this time. I wanted him to tell _me_ what was going on.

"I can _guess_," I responded smoothly, trying to draw him out. "_You're_ the one with the mind-reading ability."

A pause.

"You left her, didn't you? Bella Swan."

Every muscle in Edward's body seemed to visually tighten at the mention of her name. He whipped his head back up to look at me. I knew I had struck the right nerve as my flashing gold eyes looked his pain filled eyes and his deep frown from under thick dark lashes.

"What else was I supposed to do?" he asked defensively. "You know as well as I do that it couldn't ever work, not if I wanted to keep her alive."

"So where does that leave you?" I asked.

"It leaves me without a purpose," Edward muttered.

"It leaves you shattered," I corrected him. I felt Edward flinch as I wrapped an arm around him, but he didn't pull away. He just stood there, silent and motionless.

"You knew this would happen," I said, "because you know what you are. And as much as that knowledge is always in the foremost part of your mind, you tried to pretend you were human. Then, when problems arose, you beat yourself down and punished yourself for your own nature, for being a vampire."

"I didn't come here to feel better about myself," Edward growled impatiently, like I was missing some key point.

But he did. Every person in the world needs comfort sometimes, needs someone to give them confidence when theirs is spent, and to tell them they'll make it through. All my life since knowing Edward, I had been there for him. I was the one he'd come to when he was too proud to let anyone else see him break. I was the one who would put the pieces back together.

"Then you shouldn't have come," I countered. "Will you look at all those bruises?" I suddenly asked, gesturing to him in an up and down motion with my free hand.

"Bruises?" he asked confused. Vampires never got bruises. "What are you—"

Then he stopped himself.

"That's right, Edward. Stop and think about what you're doing to yourself. You're torturing yourself over something you can't even help. Yes, you're a vampire. You'll _always_ be a vampire. But you're not a monster anymore-"

"How do you figure that?" he snapped.

"A monster is not what you are," I went on patiently, ignoring his interruption, "but what you do. Back when you and I used to hunt people, we were monsters. But we changed that. You talked _me_ into changing. We fought the thirst and learned to live off of animals. We have it in us to be evil, but we choose to resist. That's what distinguishes us from monsters, Edward."

_And if you were really a monster, do you think Bella would have given you a second thought?_ I thought to him. _She saw the good in you. You going to call your girlfriend an idiot? _

"If you think it's in her best interest to stay away, I won't question your judgment," I resumed aloud. "But don't beat yourself up about the past. Whatever you've done to her in her life, I'm sure Bella wouldn't have it any different. Not if it meant that she had you."

Edward was silent, watching me with those dark, lifeless golden eyes. I could tell he was holding back. He was in pain but he was trying to bury it, to cling to his strength. Edward never learned that it wasn't a weakness to let yourself go, to let the people that were close to you share your pain.

Even in the old days, Edward would fight his emotions every step of the way until he snapped. And I was always there.

"Tell me how you really feel," I asked.

Edward shook his head at first, a last ditch effort to hold everything in.

But he couldn't keep anything from me for long.

Edward sighed. "I miss her," he said softly. "I _miss_ her so much."

Edward's shoulders slumped as he let himself collapse on the ground against the wall. I sank down beside him, easily slipping my arm back around him. He looked down for several moments, his head in his hands.

In all my years I had never seen Edward Cullen so grief-stricken.

"How do you go forward when you leave your heart behind?" he whispered so softly, I barely caught his words. "Is it possible? Can anyone live that way?"

I leaned my head against his shoulder. "It's hard," I told him honestly. I knew from experience.

"_Michael? Michael! Tell me what happened?" I demanded as my human husband, an officer for the Oregon State Police Dept. was slowly trudging trough the front door. I had called him several times at his office, but all I got was one of the officers telling me that he was chasing some criminal and that I shouldn't worry. I did worry though, and now it was several hours later._

_I was running up the stairs when I heard him stumble through the front door, but I froze when I saw that his dark brown hair was drenched in blood. One look at it was all it took. _

"_I know it looks bad, honey," Michael Jeffrey replied as he took in my deer in the headlights look. "But I've been to the hospital already. They took care of my shoulder and bandaged my arm and head. The only reason I got blood everywhere was that it started bleeding again as soon as I left and…" he trailed off, realizing I hadn't even blinked. _

"_Aw Mari, come here." He held his free arm to me, but I drew back. The blood was too much. The smell was everywhere, like some potent perfume that had been sprayed too many times. My head swam with his scent. _

"_I c-can't," I stammered slowly. "I have to go."_

_Michael reached out and grabbed me by the shoulders before I had even begun to react. A drop of blood fell on my arm. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion after that. _

"_Marianne, are you alright? What's wrong?"_

"_Darling, I'm so sorry…"_

"It's _so_ hard," I resumed, bringing my mind back to reality, back to Edward. "But at least Bella's still alive, and you'll force yourself to move forward, because you know it's your only chance keep her that way. Sacrifice is the price of love."

"Someday, I'll go back to check on her," he promised. "I have to know that she's safe."

"Of course," I patted him gently. "And I'll be here for you when you get back. Seeing her again will open up the pain of every wound you're feeling now, even after time has started to heal you."

"I'm not worried about that," Edward replied, finally looking up. He didn't meet my eyes though, but stared out into nothingness. "Time only heals you, if you let it. I don't want it to. I want to feel every wound as though it was freshly made, because that way, Bella will never leave me."

I pulled Edward close to me, as if through our closeness, I could transfer some of my strength to him. He was my dearest friend. It was my job to make him see that he didn't always have to be torn.

"You love her," I whispered in his ear. "There's not a way in heck that you'll ever be able to forget her. She's a part of you, etched into your memory forever."

I pulled back slightly and turned Edward's head up so that our foreheads were touching. "You don't need the pain to keep her close," I told him. "And when you figure that out, I'll be here to help make it go away."

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